So M’s birthday is coming up this week but we willn’t have time to do much in celebration. So I took her out on Saturday for some stuff I knew she’d like to do.

First item on the agenda was lunch at Little Dooey’s. They have the best fried catfish around. I’m partial to the blackened burger and the baked beans can’t be beat.

Then we drove over to Columbus and bought a couple tickets for the pilgrimage. We saw some civil war buffs fire a cannon and saw a couple of nice homes and gardens.

Next we drove to Tupelo, stopped in at Hardee’s to change into nicer clothes and got dinner (not at Hardee’s). Unfortunately, the restaurant we wanted to go to has closed. The place had really good food at reasonable prices. We might pay $50 for an appetizer, two entrées and a dessert and feel that we got our money’s worth.

We tried a place called the Big Easy on main street. It bills itself as a bar and grill type place. We sat downstairs in the restaurant part and waited a few minutes for our server to present himself. We were in a bit of a rush because after dinner we were going to the ballet. Our 15 year-old-looking server finally showed up and I asked what they had on tap, thinking a quaint liitle bar and grill in historic downtown might have some good beer on tap. “Nothing,” he said. “Nothing?,” I said. “Well gimme some water then.” WTH?

M had her heart set on steak so she ordered the filet and I ordered a chicken breast stuffed with shrimp and crab meat. Over thirty minutes later, our order showed up. People that arrived after we did had already received their orders and finished eating. We had no more than 10 minutes to choke down our food. And neither of our entrées were worth writing home about or paying for, but we did. One glass of wine and two ho-hum entrées were $50. Ouch.

Well we made it to the ballet in time. Now M had for a little while been making rumblings about going to see the Tupelo Ballet Company do Sleeping Beauty. I wasn’t too keen on it and she said she’d ask her friend to go. I never heard anything else about it. While I was looking for stuff for us to do, I came across the ballet and realized that it was on Saturday April 1st and she hadn’t mentioned it so I guess she didn’t plan on going. I decided to be a good husband and include it on our itinerary.

Now, I’ve never been to the ballet before. I assumed it was a professional touring ballet company putting on the show with a live orchestra. Boy was I wrong. It was the local dance school with all the little local teenybopper dancers. The crowd was filled with proud mommas and poppas. And the music was recorded.

Oh well. They must have spent a lot of money on costumes, because they were really great.

I think the ballet would actually be a fun thing to go to and sit in the back with a bunch of friends and do a Mystery Science Theatre 3000 type thing. The entire story is told through dance and gesture and whatnot, no spoken words are used. So it sets itself up well for witty commentary. “Look how far I can leap” or “I can spin around many many times without falling down, huzzah” or “I don’t need high heels, look what I can do with my toes.”

And they did actually bring in some higher level dancers to play the lead roles. The lead guy, Prince SomethingOrOther, wasn’t too bad. And I was quite in shock at the last scene when he came out. Keep in mind I have never been to the ballet before.

I swear I thought he had forgotten to put on the bottom half of his costume. He had this little sparkly jacket on and that was all. Well, he had tights on, but that was all. When he stepped out I really thought that he had neglected to put on the bottom half, you know, like a pair of shorts or something.

Let me say this, if I were a woman or a gay man, I’d be all about the ballet. One of the first dance moves that he did with Sleeping Beauty in the scene was stand with his back to the audience and hold her up. I think this guy could squat a house with legs and glutes like that.

I said glutes ’cause I felt weird about saying “ass.” I mean, I’m just not comfortable saying “This dude’s ass was amazing.”

So he had an impressive physique and his little tights left nothing to the imagination. Now, this audience was filled with moms (who were starting to fan themselves with the program) and little brothers and sisters and I’m going “Someone tell that guy to put some clothes on, we got innocent children out here! THINK OF THE CHILDREN! They’re going to have nightmares that their Barbies and G.I. Joes starting growing bulges where there was once smooth plastic.”

Well anyway. After the ballet, we decided to get a room and spent the night. We were tired and didn’t want to drive back to Starkville. Plus, there was a Shoney’s nearby and the breakfast bar was calling our names. Our local Shoney’s got shut down several years ago and I’m still kinda sad.

We had to get some complimentary toiletries from the front desk since we didn’t plan to stay overnight ahead of time. But hey, I got a free travel deodorant out of the deal, so I’m real proud.

I got some pics: