And action.
The acting class looks to be totally cool. I’m looking forward to it this semester. We had a good class today, the instructor was fast-paced, entertaining and we even learned some stuff on the first day. I don’t think falling asleep in class will be an issue.
I volunteered to participate in an exercise and I think I sucked. I kept coming up with ways that I could’ve done it better all day. Oh well, there will be future opportunities.
Story.
Billy didn’t like Sally. In fact, he loathed her. So much that he felt slightly nauseous at the sight of her. It was fortunate though because Sally had very similar feelings about Billy. At least they tried to avoid each other. But it wasn’t so easy.
They had lived next door to one another for their entire lives. Their parents were always dropping one of them off at the other’s house for cheap babysitting. Those were terrible times. Sometimes one of the parents would plan activities for them to do together. Absolutely horrid and emotional scarring was a sure thing.
So one day Billy decided he’d had all he could take of Sally.
Wait, I didn’t tell you about why Billy and Sally hated each other. Well, this is a family show and I can’t go into it.
So one day Billy decided he’d had all he could take of Sally. Unbeknownst to Billy, Sally had been having thoughts along the same lines. Sally’s parents needed to run errands for a few hours and dropped her off so Billy’s parents could keep an eye on her. Also they assumed Billy and Sally enjoyed spending time together.
When Sally’s parents dropped her off, Billy had his plan all laid out. After his parents would turn on a video for the kids as they usually did, Billy would spring into action. Unfortunately for Billy, Sally had plans of her own.
Whoops, times up. I had no idea where that was going anyways. I was just writing as it came out.
Actually, it’s a pass along story. Yeah, that’s the ticket. I was planning this all along. So the first person in the comments write the next part of the story. As little or as much as you want and then the second person add on to the first person’s comment and so on and so forth. Or just write your own ending to the story of Billy and Sally and ignore what other people have posted. I don’t really care if you play pass along or not.
Maybe no one will post anything and that’s fine but maybe, just maybe whoever writes the best segment or story (the one that makes me laugh the most. Or maybe some other criteria that I come up with) will win a prize. Possibly a sweet prize. Something that has been featured here on IMKH before.
Sally quickly hit “Eject” on the VCR and placed in her own tape. A tape that started and ended with this creepy RING. As Billy watched, fascinated and mortified by the random and seemingly meaningless shots of ladders, horse eyes and dripping-haried women, Sally slipped on her i-pod and stared at a blank wall. Soon after the video finished, the phone rang and Billy strolled over to pick it up (all the while perplexed at the poorly edited student film he just witnessed). Sally began to laugh quitely to herself “seven days and no more Billy.” Billy put the receiver to his ear and heard a voice whisper… “I am the good fairy and no one ever dies in a pass-around story, Mrs. Blanks and Joy won’t let them.”
“Rats. foiled again” thought Sally. “Maybe I should just…”
PLEASE PASS YOUR PAPERS TO THE LEFT
…
Sally couldn’t even finish her thought as the plastic japanese portable phone bounced hard off her little blonde head.
Billy stood staring at her from across the room smirking and standing in menacing comic villain pose; obviously pleased with his well aimed throw.
“Lucky shot, ASS!” Sally exclaimed angrily!
“You’re just mad tha..” Billy started saying but was suddenly interrupted by a flying bowl of petunias…
PAPER TO THE LEFT
CLASH!!
Billy’s mom’s yardsale “find” of a bouquet crashed into Billy’s left frontal lobe and laid him supine.
Sally–seizing the opportunity and the coffee table–sprang toward Billy’s seemingly benumbed body, intending certain harm. Just at the last second, however, Billy–ever the proficient ‘possum player–performed an impressive from-the-floor high kick and caught the lusty wench right in the throat.
Gagging and wheezing, Sally dropped the coffee table whose legs gave way with an resounding “SNAP!” that would make Raven Symone proud, and our hero darted behing the sofa to regroup.
“You…COUGH COUGH…little BAS..COUGH COUGH…BAStard!” came Sally’s hoarse croak as soon as she’d regained use of her throat. “I’m gonna shove my foot so far up yo–”
TOON-TOOON!… Just then the doorbell rang.
(Passing to the left…)
I just canNOT believe you would dis the banana clip. There has never been as great a hair accessory as the banana clip, I wish I had the patent to them, and you can so still get them at the store. Not like it matters because they’re engineered to last and the ones I got in 1986 are still like new. I am pretty sure they can heal ADD and brain cancer too. So there. Ha!
“Hello? Hello?,” said the far too happy male voice at the door while Sally screamed, “ASS!”
Startled by the sounds of domestic abuse within the home, the male entered shouting, “STOP! I’m Jehovah and I want to witness!”
Jehovah threw his imitation Trek bike to the floor and pulled the rip cord on his standard issue backpack. Oh! But No! Not a standard issue Jehovah’s Witness backpack! A cape and jet pack miraculously launched Jehovah around the room as he grabbed Sally by the head and Billy by a belt loop of his Rustler jeans.
Jehovah began to juggle Sally and Billy and the imitation Trek he snatched with his foot as they zoomed out the door to wide open spaces (cue Dixie Chicks chorus of “Wide Open Spaces).
If Jehovah only had some skills. Jehovah failed to catch Billy. As Billy fell he grabbed…
Oops..Pass to the left!
I don’t think tess’ post fits
The, um, banana clip made me attach this rant to the ‘rong blog. Sometimes they do that if they’re too tight.
Hey Anonymous, just FYI, even if by tearing me down, you do win the used T-shirt it’ll just bring out the bags under your eyes and make you look really OLD (smile). K that’s it; I’m done. Back to the story.
Ok, the shirt is barely worn. I wore it like two times and it has been washed.
Do not be afraid people. The shirt is awesome. And it can be yours.
How bout you just gimme the shirt and we call it even?
Ooooh, nice try. But no.
What would make us even is you writing something terribly clever and so funny that I have to go home and change my pants.
Then, and only then, would we be even.
Or you could send me 5 bucks and it’s yours. Screw the contest. Five dollars? Hello?
I was going to write a great story until someone posted bad things about God. At that point, the game seemed too dangerous. 😀